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Feb 22, 2010

A Change in perception
Since the crisis started- and I cannot for the life of me set a specific date on when it started but rather just give a rough time period when people started fearing it- I hear people talking about doing everything in their hands to keep their jobs; jobs they were not too comfortable or happy about to begin with.

This got me thinking- why is it that regardless of the situation we are in, we tend to complain?Why do we stay in a situation even if it goes against our principles? Well, I found a few answers to these questions but I'll focus on the most prevailing reason I can think of.

Sometimes, we get distracted with the day to day and forget to stop, think and actively decide what we want and how we can get it. By not deciding, we just let our lives pass in front of us thus, becoming mere spectators of our own lives!
Often times you can hear someone talk about the long hours they work, how their work is not valued enough, how little they make for such a big effort, how their family members suffer their absence and worries and on and on.

In our society it seems like the longer you spend at work, the better you are at what you do.The less time you spend with your family because of work, the more you love them because you are sacrifying yourself for their sake. The less time you have for yourself, the more generous you are... and the list is endless. How did we arrive at these conclusions? The answer is simple. We have- for whatever reason- adopted a set of values that are misleading us.

Let me explain. Our values determine our priorities in life and our priorities determine the actions we take. By values I mean the driving force behind the decisions we make. Look at what happens when we shift our focus:

If our values are:

  • Feeling worthy of others
  • Being number 1
  • Being right
  • Being in the right circle of people
  • Making "a lot of money"
  • Achievment
  • Being loved and loving by pleasing others
  • Having the greatest amount of friends
  • Learning things
then we will probably struggle in some areas of our lives because we will always be trying to adapt to others' demands. If we are working long hours to prove ourselves to our bosses and be considered worthy, right, competitive, etc, we are at risk of neglecting our families and friends. When we realise we are doing this, we may then pay close attention to what they need, only to neglect our own personal needs.

By changing our values or the driving force behind what we do, we will soon see how everything gracefully falls into place allowing us to enjoy our work, our family and our "playtime".

I changed my list of values to look something like this:

  • Feeling good and happy
  • Growing
  • Learning new things and meeting new challenges
  • Loving the people around me
  • Making money to pay for my list of wants
  • Having fun

As soon as my values (or driving force behind what I do) changed, I was then able to decide what would help me achieve them in a more efficient way and take the necessary steps.
Believe me when I say that as soon as you decide how your list will "play" your perception and life start to change. Incredibly enough, instead of losing your job, friends and family, this new shift will actually strengthen the bond and empower you to do what you want!

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